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Thank you ,dear mom
Thank you ,dear mom .when I was a little child ,you taught me speak and taught me walk .You told me,a girl should polite ,so I learnt to be a polite girl.When I was six years old ,you sent me to school and cooked breakfast for me every day.When I failed the exams,you often encouraged me to study harder and I would do the best.Mom,you are the best mom,thank you very much.
评析:Thank you dear mom .when I was a little child ,you taught me (to)speak and taught me(去掉,共用前一个) walk .You told me,a girl should(be) polite ,so I learnt to be a polite girl.When I was six years old ,you sent me to school and cooked breakfast for me every day. When I failed the exams,you often encouraged me to study harder and (不表示并列,改为then)I would do the best.(try my best) Mom,you are the best mom,thank you very much.
全文能表达出小作者对母亲的感激之情,文中过去时态运用较好,但后半部分可以改用一般现在时态,能掌握基本的语法和词法,标题可改为“Thanks for my mom”。全文字数略显不足,文章可以再进一步深入,通过个别具体的事例来体现母爱的无私与伟大。 |
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