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初中英语作文Afunnyweekend.评析

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发表于 2010-11-25 17:51:00 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
A funny weekend.

On Saturday morning, I visited my grandparents, then I watched TV at grandparent's home. I was hungry ,grandma was kind to me,she cooked lunch for me.After lunch ,I went for a walk at park.I had fun with them at there.Two hours latered,I went home.On Saturday night,Isaw an interesting movie with my friends. Sunday was came.In the morning,Idid my homework and studied forthe English test, In the afternoon ,I went to the library and read about history. Then I went to the book store, I bought books . Then I went shopping I bought my favorite food, at the night, Istayed at home and watched Kartoon on TV,then I surfed the net. Do you think my weekend is very funny?


On Saturday morning, I visited my grandparents, then I watched TV at their(第二次出现,用their代替,不显得罗嗦) home. Soon(加上表示时间的词,显得文章逻辑性强一点) I was hungry. Grandma was kind (去掉to me,读起来更顺口), and she cooked lunch for me. After lunch ,I went for a walk in the park(在公园).I had fun with them there(there前一般不用介词).Two hours later(later是副词,不能加ed),I went home. At night, I saw an interesting movie with my friends.

Sunday came(came是动词,前面不能有be动词).In the morning, I did my homework and prepared(用study不够准确) for the English test, In the afternoon ,I went to the library and read about history. Then I went to the book store to buy some (用to结构连接更紧密) books . Then I went shopping. I bought my favorite food. In the night(短语为at night 或in the night), Istayed at home and watched cartoons(单词拼写错误) on TV,then I surfed on the net.

Do you think my weekend is very funny? (再次总写,回应开头。)

1、文章结构严紧,前呼后应,总分结构明显,句子表达大部分正确。

2、你的周末充实而又有意义,可以看出你是个很爱生活又懂得讨长辈欢心的人,继续多写一些自己对生活的体验的文章吧!

3、文中不少地方出现短语用错,这是你今后要注意的一大方面,今后还应注意句子间的逻辑和连接,多多练习你会慢慢明白的。
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