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发表于 2010-4-6 21:08:00
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My Dream
I am a handsome boyl. My name is Mike.
I like drawing. My dream is to have a white house with a white wall, a white roof, a white floor.
I can draw a red car on the wall, and I can drive the car around the world. I can draw a plane on the roof, and I want to take the plane to the sky. i can draw a sailing-boat on the floor, and I want to take the sailing-boat across the sea.
点评台:这篇作文"My Dream",形式新颖,风格独特,用词得当,语句通顺。此文章充沛地体现了小作者丰富的想象力和较强的写作能力,是一篇胜利的文章。同时,希望张灿小朋友能坚持练习英文写作,相信你一定会写出更好的英语作文。"Very good!"。
My English Teacher
Miss Shan is my English teacher. She has two big eyes. She is thin and short. Her hair is very long. She is very beautiful.
Her English is very good. She always play games with us in English class. So her class is very interesting and shi is kind to us. She like us and we like her too.
I like my English teacher. How about you?
点评中心: 文章写得比较简单,词语使用准确, 语言朴实无华,字里行间表达了小作者对英语老师的喜爱之情, 但不够具体, 假如能指出老师的喜好、习惯等,文章会更加空虚,希望你继续努力,写出更加优秀的文章来。
My Little Cat
Hello! I'm Becky. This is my little cat. I like it very much. Its name is Do Re Mi. It's very beautiful. It's gray. It has triangular(三角形的) ears, round eyes,a black nose and a small mouth. My mother calls it "Little Baby". When I'm at home,it often follows me in and out.
My little cat loves to eat fish and sleep a lot. It's very fat,but it's nimble(机敏的). One day,I saw it run fast in the sitting room. I thought it might find a mouse. It was running after the mouse. They looked like playing hide-and-seek. About three minutes later,it brought me the mouse. I was happy. So I touched it with a smile. "You have done a good job,Little Baby." I said. Then it jumped up and down and ran away.
Do you like my little cat?Tell me, please.
点评中心:向大家介绍了小猫的外貌,还主要描写了小猫在某一天捉老鼠的情景。整篇文章主次分明,语言简炼、生动,没有语法错误。同时,字里行间能使读者感受到小作者对小猫的喜爱之情。
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