中考英语书面表达常见错误分析

lspjy

审题错误要点领悟
         与汉语作文一样,英语书面表达的审题也十分重要。审题包括此篇文章要传递给读者什么样的信息,告诫读者什么(即写作目的)。由于英语书面表达的篇幅很有限,所以要求作者在写作时要精心组织材料,紧扣主题。   
                              
信息提示
          太白山是陕西著名的森林游览胜地。一年四季都有其独特的景色(scene)。不过,游览太白山的最佳时机是春天。每当春天来临,青山滴翠,美丽的景色吸引了许多游客前来踏青观光。可几年前,游人不注意保护环境,乱扔垃圾,攀折树枝花草,猎杀野鸟,点火野餐,致使环境一度恶化。请你写篇报道,说明太白山旅游环境的变化。

习作实况
          Taibai Mountain is a famous place of interest in Shaanxi Province. It has its special scenes all the year round, and spring is the best time to visit it. When spring comes, the days get longer and longer and the weather get warmer and warmer. Trees are beginning to turn green, and flowers come out. Everything begins to grow (1).  The mountains are covered with a lot of green tall trees and all kinds of colorful wild flowers. It is so beautiful that a lot of visitors come here and enjoy its beauty every day. But a few years ago, some of the visitors paid no attention to protecting the environment. They used to throw lots of rubbish such as plastic bags, fruit skins and waste paper on the ground. They don’t know that cleaners work from morning till night to sweep away the rubbish and waste things (2). Sometimes they broke some branches, picked flowers and even killed birds. Some even made fires in the forest to cook food. How dangerous it was! Luckily enough, the local government has begun to do something to stop polluting the area. Great changes have taken place here. New roads and nice hotels have been built; trees and flowers are planted around them. Visitors are asked to take plastic bags and put their rubbish in them (3).
                           
精讲点拨
       (1)这一部分应当删掉。文章应围绕太白山景区的景色和环境保护主题展开,与太白山有关的春景可以略写,但不宜用太多的笔墨去描绘春天,这不仅加长了篇幅,也冲淡了主题。
       (2)这一部分也应当删掉。因为,这里批评了游客乱扔垃圾的不良现象,由于篇幅的限制,没有必要再去谈论清洁工是如何清理这些垃圾的。
       (3)这一部分同样需要删掉。根据上文不难看出,本文主要谈论太白山旅游区的环境污染问题,以及政府采取措施后环境的变化。没有必要去描述基础设施的变化。总而言之,英文作文中,应特别注意避免想起什么写什么,随意发挥,淡化主题。精彩例文
           Taibai Mountain is a famous place of interest in Shaanxi Province. It has its special scenes all the year round, and spring is the best time to visit it. When spring comes, the mountains are covered with a great many green tall trees and all kinds of colorful wild flowers. It is so beautiful that a lot of visitors come here and enjoy its beauty every day. But a few years ago, some of the visitors paid no attention to protecting the environment. They used to throw lots of rubbish such as plastic bags, fruit skins and waste paper on the ground. Sometimes they broke some branches, picked flowers and even killed birds. Some even made fires in the forest to cook food. How dangerous it was! Luckily enough, the local government has begun to do something to stop polluting the area. Great changes have taken place here.

lspjy

母语干扰

【要点领悟】



         许多同学在用英语写作时很容易受汉语的影响而写错句子,即写所谓的Chinglish。这是书面表达中常见的错误之一。
【信息提示】


         请你根据实际情况,以“My School Life”为题写一篇100词左右的英语短文。
【习作实况】
                                               My School Life
      I’m a middle school student. Although our school is very usual (1), but (2) it’s beautiful in my heart. The school is covered with tall trees and beautiful flowers.
     The here (3) air is very fresh. In the morning, lots of schoolmates (4) early (5) go to school and do some exercises. Usually we have breakfast after our first class. All of the students take morning exercises on the playground after two classes. After that, someone (6) are reading in the library, others are playing and talking on the playground. We have three classes in the afternoon and do some sports that we like after school and go home at about 6:00. Oh! How colorful my school life is!
【精讲点拨】
(1)作者显然想表达“学校很一般或普通”,此处最好用common一词,而usual意思是“通常的”。

(2)受汉语“虽然……但是……”的影响,作者将这一意思直接译成英语“although…but…”,而在英语同一句子中只用这两个词的其中之一表示汉语的“虽然……但是……”。
(3)here是副词,用来修饰名词时应位于被修饰词之后。
(4)schoolmate指校友、同学,通常不包含自己在内,改为students好些,指全校学生。
(5)“早早到校”的英语表达是go to school early, 副词early应位于句末。
(6)someone意思是“某人”,要改为some students。
【精品范文】
                                            My School Life
      I’m a middle school student. Although our school is very common, it’s beautiful in my heart. The school is covered with tall trees and beautiful flowers.
      The air here is very fresh. In the morning, lots of students go to school early and do some exercises. Usually we have breakfast after our first class. All the students take morning exercises on the playground after two classes. After that, some students are reading in the library, others are playing and talking on the playground. We have three classes in the afternoon and do some sports that we like after school and go home at about 6:00. Oh! How colorful my school life is!

lspjy

语态错误【要点领悟】
        英语的语态分为主动语态和被动语态,主要由动词的变化形式来体现。英语中有些不及物动词或不及物动词词组,汉语理解往往是及物的,而不及物动词却有汉语中及物动词的意思,所以同学们在平时的英语学习中要特别注意这一点。
【信息提示】
         比较下面两幅图片。请以“Great Changes in Our Country”为题写一篇短文,介绍改革开放20多年来祖国的巨大的变化。词数80左右。

提示词: overpass  天桥
【习作实况】
                                      Great Changes in Our Country
      Great changes have been (1) taken place in our country. Many buildings have been builded (2) in cities and towns, even at villages. The more cars we have, the more crowded the roads are. So the roads were become (3) wider and wider. Many overpasses have been builded (4) in big cities. Chinese people’s life is better now. We can buy things that we need in every part of the country. We have TVs, washing machines, fridges, computers, cars, etc. These things couldn’t buy (5) twenty years ago.
      We’ll study harder and make our country stronger and more beautiful.


【精讲点拨】
(1)take place是不及物动词短语,没有被动语态。
(2)、(4) 被动语态的过去分词用得不对。
(3)动词become在这里是系动词,后接形容词比较级作表语。系动词通常没有被动语态。
(5)此处应用被动式couldn’t be bought。
【精品范文】
                                      Great Changes in Our Country
      Great changes have taken place in our country. Many buildings have been built in cities and towns, even at villages. The more cars we have, the more crowded the roads are. So the roads became wider and wider. Many overpasses have been built in big cities.
      Chinese people’s life is better now. We can buy things that we need in every part of the country. We have TVs, washing machines, fridges, computers, cars, etc. These things couldn’t be bought twenty years ago.
      We’ll study harder and make our country stronger and more beautiful.

lspjy

人称和时态误用

要点领悟

人称和时态的误用是英语书面表达中最为常见的错误。英文写作对人称和时态的要求很严格。常用的时态有八种之多,初中阶段最常见有六种动词时态。在写作时,英语初学者要准确判断一个动作应该用哪种时态来表示。首先要判断动作发生的时间是现在、过去还是将来,注意动作是在进行还是已经完成等,据此确定该用什么时态;然后,要熟练掌握各种时态所必须使用的谓语动词结构和词形变化;整篇文章完成后,要检查“时态、语态、主谓一致”等是否正确。这样就可以少犯错误。



信息提示




电脑是当代的高科技产品(a high-tech product),在我们的生活中越来越普及,几乎深入到每个家庭。电脑可以帮我们处理(handle)很多事情。列举一些事例,写一篇关于电脑在日常生活中的用途的文章,说明电脑的利弊。



习作实况
        The computer — a high-tech product, has become so popular that they are (1) seen in almost every family. It is playing an important role in our everyday life. The computer will help (2) us handle many matters: official business, chat online, study, sending e-mails, long-distance education and entertainment such as listening to music and watching video.



But we also know that the computer was (3) bad for our eyes, especially for the young kids’. Now there are more and more children who have to wear glasses in order to see clearly. Many children become near-sighted, and they are doing worse and worse in their studies because they spend too much time playing computer games. So if you will want (4) to have beautiful and bright eyes and gain (获取) some useful knowledge when we (5) are young, the most important thing you will do is to plan your time carefully and well. Only in this way can you have a bright future.



精讲点拨
        (1)作者在文章开头使用了the computer一词,来代表电脑这一类产品。因此,that从句中如果使用they are,就和句首的主语the computer(单数名词)不一致,因此应将they are 改为it is。
        (2)众所周知,电脑在我们的日常生活中正在起着很重要的作用。因此,不能理解成电脑将要帮助我们处理很多事务,而是现在(每天)电脑都在帮助人们处理日常事务,这种help是经常的,反复发生的,应用一般现在时。因此,要改为 helps。
        (3)我们看到的事实是,电脑在为人们做了大量的好事的同时,也给人们带来了麻烦。而且,这种困扰现在就存在,即:电脑天天在损害我们的健康和眼睛。应用一般现在时is。



(4) want一词一般没有将来时。另外,本句是由if引导的条件状语从句,按英语的时态规则“主句用一般将来时,从句应用一般现在时”。 将will want改为want。
        (5)将we改为you。从本句的条件句可以看出,“如果你在年轻的时候,既想学到知识,又想拥有一双明亮的眼睛,你就记住,玩电脑可不要超越底线。”在这里,前后句的人称要保持一致。



精彩例文
         The computer — a high-tech product, has become so popular that it is seen in almost every family. It is playing an important role in our everyday life. The computer helps us handle many matters: official business, chat online, study, sending e-mails, long-distance education and entertainment such as listening to music and watching video.
         But we also know that the computer is bad for our eyes, especially for the young kids’. Now there are more and more children who have to wear glasses in order to see clearly. Many children become near-sighted, and they are doing worse and worse in their studies because they spend too much time playing computer games. So if you want to have beautiful and bright eyes and gain some useful knowledge when you are young, the most important thing you will do is to plan your time carefully and well. Only in this way can you have a bright future.

lspjy

句型结构、固定搭配错误

要点领悟
        马克思生在德国,他非常擅长学习语言。他不仅能自如地运用英语,而且只用了六个月时间就掌握了足够的俄文,能阅读俄文版的报刊和杂志。不过,他在介绍英语学习的经验时,也曾诉苦说:“I am not too sure about two things, the grammar and some of the idioms.”。英语学习中,句型结构和固定搭配的确是初学者的“拦路虎”。



信息提示

众所周知吸烟有害健康。请以“Smoking is harmful to health”为题写一篇至少100词的英语短文,来介绍一下吸烟的危害,以唤起人们戒烟。



习作实况
                                     Smoking is harmful to health
        As (1) is known to all that smoking is bad for health. In China there have (2) millions of smokers. Each year millions of people die from smoking.
        Smoking makes many people ill. Those who often smoke have black teeth. Lots of smokers cough day and night. Lung cancer is one of the most serious illnesses that are caused by smoking. Many people suffer from this terrible disease and lose their lives.



        Smoking does harm not only to smokers themselves, but also to non-smokers, especially women and children. They may have their health harm (3) because of the smoke caused by cigarettes.



Everyone agrees that smoking is not good for health, but it is not easy for smokers to giving up smoking (4). I hope all the smokers will stop smoking for the good of their own health and also for the people around them. Let’s enjoying (5) clean and fresh air together.



精讲点拨
(1)将As改为It。“It is known to all that+从句”是一个固定结构。意思是“众所周知……”。



(2)句型there is/are表示“某地有某物”，该句型强调“存在”，而have/has常用来表达“某人有某物”，强调“所有”，其主语通常是人。因此，将have改为are。
(3)将harm改为harmed。“have sth. done”是一个固定结构,意思是“使 / 让某物遭受……”。本句的意思是“吸烟产生的毒气很可能使他们(妇女、儿童)的健康遭受到侵害”,因为health被smoke损害,因此,要用过去分词harmed,以表示被动的含义。
(4)英语中表达“某人做某事很不容易”常用句型“It is not easy for sb. to do sth.”。 应将giving up smoking改为give up smoking。
(5)let’s后要跟动词原形构成“Let’s do sth.”结构。应将enjoying改为enjoy。


精彩例文
                               Smoking is harmful to health
         It is known to all that smoking is bad for health. In China there are millions of smokers. Each year millions of people die from smoking.
        Smoking makes many people ill. Those who often smoke have black teeth. Lots of smokers cough day and night. Lung cancer is one of the most serious illnesses that are caused by smoking. Many people suffer from this terrible disease and lose their lives.
        Smoking does harm not only to smokers themselves, but also to non-smokers, especially women and children. They may have their health harmed because of the smoke caused by cigarettes.
        Everyone agrees that smoking is not good for health, but it is not easy for smokers to give up smoking. I hope all the smokers will stop smoking for the good of their own health and also for the people around them. Let’s enjoy clean and fresh air together.

lspjy

习惯用法和固定搭配【要点领悟】
        有的同学在写作时常常把一些习惯用语、固定词组及结构错误搭配,结果写出来的句子让人看不懂。我们在平时若将这些英语基础知识牢固掌握,考试时就会得心应手、从容自若。
【信息提示】
2005年10月1日  星期六  睛
　　昨天你叔叔打电话来,请你找几个朋友去他农场收桔子。于是今天早上6点,你和朋友就坐汽车出发了。一到农场便开始干活。桔子树上结满了桔子,你们又摘桔子又装车,忙完后在那儿吃了午餐,还吃了不少桔子。下午坐卡车回家。你们虽然忙了一天,却感到非常快乐。
请根据以上提示写一篇80词左右的英语日记。请注意日记的格式。
【习作实况】
October 1, 2005, Saturday                                   Sunny
       My uncle called me yesterday. He said in the phone (1) that he had an orange harvest. He needed some help. He asked me to go there with my friends.
       Today morning (2) we left home at 6:00. We went there by a bus (3). The trees in (4) the farm were really full with (5) oranges. When we got there, we began to work at once. We picked a lot of oranges and put them in the boxes. Some strong boys carried the boxes into a truck. After work, we had the lunch (6) at my uncle’s house. We had many oranges, too. In the afternoon, we came back home by truck. We were busy today, but we were happy.


【精讲点拨】
(1) “在电话里说……”应用介词on。
(2) “今天上午”的英语说法是this morning。
(3)   by+交通工具名词时,其间不用冠词或其他修饰词。
(4) “在农场里”介词用on,应是on the farm。
(5) “……充(结)满……”有两种表示方法,be full of ... 或be filled with...。
(6) 英语中在表示吃一日三餐时,三餐前不加冠词。



【精品范文】
October 1, 2005, Saturday                                    Sunny
       My uncle called me yesterday. He said on the phone that he had an orange harvest. He needed some help. He asked me to go there with my friends.
       This morning we left home at 6:00. We went there by bus. The trees on the farm were really full of oranges. When we got there, we began to work at once. We picked a lot of oranges and put them in the boxes. Some strong boys carried the boxes into a truck. After work, we had lunch at my uncle’s house. We had many oranges, too. In the afternoon, we came back home by truck.
       We were busy today, but we were happy.

lspjy

汉式英语

要点领悟
        不同的民族有不同的语言表达习惯。我国学生在用英语写作时由于受汉语表达习惯的影响,加之对英语词语的真正含义把握不准,往往拿汉语去套英语,结果写出的文章到处都是汉式英语(Chinglish)。这样的文章,只有中国人能看懂,外国人看不懂。这就达不到与外国人交流思想的目的。要改变这种状况,一是要准确把握英语词语的含义,二是要排除汉语表达习惯的干扰。这样才能写出地道的英语文章。
信息提示
        你家里养了一只猫,她很小,也很可爱。由于她的存在,你们全家人都很快乐。昨天晚上你去商店给她买食物,在回家的路上下起了大雨。当你到家时,你浑身都湿透了。虽然淋了雨,但是你很高兴。不管怎么说,小猫不用挨饿了。
习作实况
         My home (1) raises a lovely small cat. My family are always happy because of her. I went to the store to buy some food for her yesterday night (2). Unluckily, there was a big rain (3) on my way home. When I got home, I was all wet (4). Although I was wet, but (5) I was very happy. No matter how to say (6), the cat would not be hungry.





精讲点拨

上面的这篇习作虽然我们都能看懂是什么意思,但由于受汉语思维的影响,里面充满了因文化差异而产生的错误。



        (1) “home”的汉语意思虽然也是“家”,但它指“家”时一般只指地点而不指人。根据英语习惯该句应改为My family has a lovely small cat或We keep a lovely small cat at home。
        (2) “昨天晚上”要么表达为yesterday evening,要么表达为last night。但根据语境,这里用前者较合适。
        (3) 根据英语表达习惯,“一场大雨”应表达为a heavy rain,而不是a big rain。
        (4) be all wet的意思是“完全错了”。要表达“全身湿透了”,可以用wet through或completely wet。
        (5) 由于受汉语“虽然……但是”结构的影响而出错。在英语中,although和but在一个句子中不能连用。
        (6) 这里要表达“不管怎么说”,可以用anyway或anyhow,文中的表达显然属于汉式英语。
精彩例文
        We keep a lovely small cat at home. My family are always happy because of her. I went to the store to buy some food for her yesterday evening. Unluckily, there was a heavy rain on my way home. When I got home, I was wet through. Although I was wet, I was very happy. Anyway, the cat would not be hungry.