绿色圃中小学教育网

 找回密码
 免费注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

查看: 11968|回复: 13
打印 上一主题 下一主题

小同学优秀英语小作文30篇(和点评)

[复制链接]
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2010-4-6 21:07:00 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式

My Favourite stamp
I have a lot of stamps and my favourite stamp is an animal stamp.
Look, there is a chick in this stamp. The chick has a red cockscomb, two bright eyes, a long neck and a short tail. Its feathers are yellow and brown. This stamp is very beautiful.
I like this stamp very much.
Miss Wang点评台集邮不只可以增加我们的见识,同时也可以陶冶我们的情操。本文的小作者就是一个集邮喜好者,看小作者所描述的小鸡邮票多么可爱呀!感兴趣的小朋友可以试着收集邮票啊!Miss Wang要奖给姚晗小朋友一个"Very Good!",继续加油啊!
My Good Friend
Hello! My name is Maggie. I have a good friend. Her Chinese name is Wang Qi. Her English name is Mary. She likes fruit very much. Her favourite color is blue.
She is very beautiful. She has small eyes and wears a pair of glasses. She has two small ears, a small nose and a lovely mouse. She is very tall. She likes swimming and playing football. She is a good student.
We are in the same school and the same class. But we are not in the same row.
I like her very much. We always play together.
分享到:  QQ好友和群QQ好友和群 QQ空间QQ空间 腾讯微博腾讯微博 腾讯朋友腾讯朋友
收藏收藏 分享分享 顶 踩
回复

使用道具 举报

沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2010-4-6 21:07:00 | 只看该作者

A Pen and a Pencil
I have a pen and a pencil. The pen is very nice, but the pencil is so dirty.
One day, the pen met the pencil. The pen said to the pencil:" What a dirty pencil!" The pencil said :"Yes. I'm dirty .But I can write words." "I can write words,too . Now,let's see who can write more words."
They began to write. They wrote and wrote. The pen wrote lots of words on the paper. The pencil wrote lots of words on the paper, too. After a long time ,the pen hadn't any ink(钢笔水)left(剩下).The pencil became short, but he could still write .
At last ,the pencil won. The pencil said :"Ha ha...ha ha...Who won, you or me ?"The pen drooped(低下)his head. Then he said to the pencil :"I shouldn't laught at(讪笑)you. You are good, too."
  点评台:这是一篇很胜利的文章。文章不只立意新颖,更重要的是寓意深刻。同时,也能看出小作者有着丰富的想象力。希望在今后的学习中充沛发挥自身的想象,写出更多、更好的文章。文章级别:A。
Fly Kites
Today is a shining day, the sky is blue, the wind is strong. My grandfather and I are going to the park to fly kites.
My grandfather takes me to the People's Park. We fly my "Rocket". "The wind is too strong, the kite can't fly!" I say. My grandfather looks and says, "Let me try!" "Sure!" So my grandfather catches the string and I hold the kite. "Follow me, one, two, three, run!" I run with my grandfather quickly. Oh! It's so wonderful! The kite is flying up with the wind. I am so happy and ask my grandfather, "Why can't I fly it up, but you can?" My grandfather says with a smile on his face, "Because you fly the kite against the wind." "Oh, I see." I nod my head happily.
We play in the park until late. We enjoy ourselves.
点评中心:小作者用平实的语言描述了风筝从飞不上天到飞上天的过程,特别生动、形象,同时又结合小作者与爷爷的对话,让人看完以后有种身临其境的感觉,仿佛放风筝的活动历历在目。
回复

使用道具 举报

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2010-4-6 21:07:00 | 只看该作者

Four Seasons
Spring is green. Do you know why? It is because when spring is here, the plants and the trees sprout new leaves and turn green. The flowers start to blossom. It is so beautiful and green everywhere.
Summer is bright. Can you guess the reason? It is because when summer arrives, the sun is shining. For the very strong sunlight, everything is bright. How beautiful and bright it is!
Autumn is golden. Why is this? It's because when autumn comes, the wind blows through the golden trees and carries the golden leaves away, flowing slowly down to the ground one after another and thickly covering the ground. It is golden everywhere.
Winter is white. Why? It's because when winter reaches us, the white snowflakes fly slowly down, so pure and white. The wide fields and the great high mountains all wear white coats.
Oh! The four seasons are all beautiful and charming. I like spring, summer, autumn and winter, but spring, the best! For spring is full of life.
   点评中心:小作者以"四季"为题目,开篇直接切入四个季节,以论述四季的不同为主线,分别进行描述.文章用词准确,语言丰富、生动,语法基本正确.希望继续努力,成为未来的作家。
Have a fun holiday!
Come to Shenzhen and have a fun holiday. Shenzhen is a new and modern city. The weather here is very pleasant. The trees and grass are green every season. In spring, the weather is warm. You can go hiking. In summer, the weather is hot, but you can go to the beautiful beach. You can swim there. You can make a sandcastle(沙堆城堡), too. In autumn. the weather is cool, but not dry. You can fly kites in the parks. In winter, it's not cold. You don't need to put on more clothes. You can play sports then.
There is lots of delicious food here. You can drink morning tea and afternoon tea. You can eat seafood(海鲜), too. In Shenzhen there are many famous places. You can go to the Window of the World. You can go to Happy Valley, too.
Don't wait. Come to Shenzhen and have fun, fun and fun !
点评中心:通过对深圳四季的描写,给我们展现出了一幅四季如春的美丽画面。在深圳,可以到海边堆沙堡, 可以吃海鲜, 还可以去美丽的世界之窗游玩…… 所有这些都深深地吸引着小读者们,不愧为一篇胜利的小作文。
回复

使用道具 举报

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2010-4-6 21:08:00 | 只看该作者

I Like My Village
Hello,dear friends! Welcome to my village. It's big and beautiful! I like it very much.
Look!There are many houses in the village. They are small. There are many high and beautiful mountains near the houses. There is a big forest behind the houses. There are many big trees in it. There are many rivers in front of the houses. The water is clean. There are many fish in the rivers. There are many bridges over the rivers. There are many big trees on the river banks. And there is grass and flowers on it. The grass is green. The flowers are colourful and beautiful. There is a lake in the village. There are many ducks in the lake.
  The sky is blue. The rivers flow. The air is fresh and clean. My village is very beautiful!I like it very much!
  点评中心:I Like My Village。本篇文章采用生动、细致的描写方法,勾勒出一幅美丽、和谐的乡村图画。文章在用词方面比较准确,多处采用There be句型。但有些地方可用连词连接,无需再重复使用There be句型。
My Bedroom
My name is Mike. I have a comfortable bedroom.
There is a desk, a bookshelf and a bed in my bedroom. I do my homework in my bedroom every evening. The desk is in front of the bookshelf. There are many textbooks, English books and story books on the shelf.
My bed is near the windows. There are some flowers on the windowsill. The curtain and the sheets of my bedroom are blue. Because my favourite colour is blue, too.
Dear friend, do you like my bedroom?
点评中心:My Bedroom针对自身卧室里的几件物品进行了介绍,为同学们展示了一个干净舒适的小天地,值得一提的是文中使用了一些生词,使文章增色不少。在这里建议其他同学学习,努力多掌握些单词,从而写出更加精彩的英语作文。"Very Good!"。
回复

使用道具 举报

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2010-4-6 21:08:00 | 只看该作者

My Family
I have a happy family. There are six people in my family. They are grandpa, grandma, father, mother, elder sister and I.
My name is Yang Yuan. I am a pupil, I'm in Grade 5. I like English very much, I read them every morning. I often listen to the English tape. My grandpa is an accountant(会计). He is very busy. My grandma is a farmer. She does the housework. My mother is a farmer, too. She cooks every day. My father is a worker. In the evening he likes watching TV. While he is watching TV, he often tells us not to talk. My elder sister is a middle school student, she isn't good at English, but she likes maths very much.
All of them love me, and I love them, too. I have a happy family. I love my family.
  点评中心:这篇文章主要描写了家庭成员的职业,My Family更适合做这篇文章的标题,整篇文章条理清楚,语言简练,用词准确,没有语法错误,可见小作者的英语语言基本功很好,希望杨园同学在今后的学习中继续发扬这个优点,不要骄傲,写出更多的好文章。文章级别:B。
My Family
Hello, everyone! Today I am going to talk about my family. My name is Mike.
I am in Class 1, Grade 4. l like English very much. I like hamburgers. I have a happy family. There are three people in my family. Look, this is my father. He has two brown eyes, a big nose and a small mouth. He is an engineer. He is very handsome. Look, that is my mother. She has two big eyes. She is an engineer too. She is very pretty and kind.
My family is not big, but we have many friends. We are happy. I love them very much and they love me too.
讲评中心:文章写得比较简炼,词语使用准确,语言生动,字里行间表达了小作者对家人的爱。但不要骄傲,继续努力啊!文章级别:A。
回复

使用道具 举报

6#
 楼主| 发表于 2010-4-6 21:08:00 | 只看该作者

My Family
There are three people in my family, my father, my mother and I.
My father is a driver. He is 37 years old. He like eating oranges. My mother is a worker. She like eating apples. My name is Mike. I am 9 years old. I am in Class 3, Grade 3. l like eating hamburgers.
I am good at English. I study hard every day.
点评中心:My Family 语言流畅,描写得当,用平实的语言向读者介绍了家庭中的每一位成员的基本情况,美中缺乏之处就是缺乏对家人之间和睦关系的描述,使文章略显平淡了一些。“Good!”,还要继续努力啊
My Best Friend
Ma Qi is my best friend. She is a girl. she is ten years old. She has short black hair and big eyes. she likes to sing.
Ma Qi and I are in the same class. We always study, draw pictures and play ping-pong together.
After the school, we often go to the park. We often play a game of Hide And Seek there. We have a good time.
点评台: My Best Friend语言流畅,叙述清楚,描述了自身与好朋友一起学习、生活的快乐时光,假如小作者能够运用已学过的知识再对好朋友的外貌特征和衣着作一番细致地描写的话,相信文章内容就会更加空虚。“Good!”千万不要骄傲呀,还要继续练习写作,使自身能够写出更好的文章。
回复

使用道具 举报

7#
 楼主| 发表于 2010-4-6 21:08:00 | 只看该作者

My Best Friends
Jim and Kim are my best friends. Jim is short, thin and quiet. But Kim is tall and strong ,but not fat. After class, Jim is different from Kim and I. Kim and I like to play soccer. We often kick the ball on the playground. But Jim doesn't play with us. He likes to read books in the library. Sometimes he likes to listen to music. In the evening, Jim often helps Kim and me with our English. We talk a lot and laugh a lot. We are best friends.
  点评台:向大家介绍了自身的两个好朋友。语言流畅,用词准确,没有语法错误,字里行间能体会到小作者与两位好朋友之间的深厚友情。另外,从整篇文章中也可以看出小作者的英语基础知识掌握得很牢。希望今后的学习中写出更多,更好的文章。文章级别:A。
My Dog
Hello, everyone!I am Wang Ze. My English name is Mike. I have a cat and a dog. I like my cat, but I like my dog better than my cat.
My dog is two years old. It has two black eyes, a black nose and a small mouth. Its body is white. It is as white as snow.
My dog is very lovely. I like my dog very much.
点评台:文章My Dog首先向读者问候,并简单介绍了自身,随后通过简略的描写使一只可爱的小狗形象跃然纸上,能够吸引读者的注意力。对于初学者而言,能写出这样的习作确实不容易,值得大家学习。“Good!”,继续加油啊!
回复

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 免费注册

本版积分规则

绿色圃中小学教育网 最新主题

GMT+8, 2024-12-29 09:16

绿色免费PPT课件试卷教案作文资源 中小学教育网 X3.2

© 2013-2016 小学语文数学教学网

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表