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八年级下册第三单元写作指导
黑龙江省绥棱双岔河中学 李传雨
1. 写作任务：
下面是Tom在上个星期日的各个时间段所做的事情的记录。请根据这些信息，以Tom's Sunday为题写一篇文章。要求：（1）句子通顺，条理清楚；（2）要将提示内容全部体现在文章当中。字数不少于60词。
7:00 --- 7:20 have breakfast
7:30 --- 9:00 help mother clean the room
9:00 --- 11:00 read books
13:00 --- 15:00 play soccer with friends
15:00 --- 17:00 do homework
17:00 --- 17:30 have supper
18:00 --- 20:00 watch TV
21:00 --- 21:30 keep a diary
2．习作正文：
Tom's Sunday
Tom was having breakfast from seven to seven twenty last Sunday. Tom was helping his mother clean the room from seven thirty to nine o'clock. He was reading books from nine to eleven. He was playing soccer with friends from thirteen to fifteen. He was doing his homework from fifteen to seventeen. He was having supper from seventeen to seventeen thirty. He was watching TV from eighteen to twenty. He was keeping a diary from twenty-one to twenty-one thirty.
3. 教师指导：
a. 本单元的写作指导：
本单元主要是运用过去进行时态及while和when引导的时间状语从句来谈论过去的事情。结合本单元的时态和相关文章内容，我们可以扩展出的写作题目有写某个人在过去某一时或某一时间段内的所作所为；也可以写过去的大事，例如汶川地震、世博会、奥运会等对现在的影响或你对这些大事的感受等等。
下面我们来复习一下与本单元有关的过去进行时的基本用法，以及when和while的区别。
（1）过去进行时的基本用法
过去进行时表示在过去某一时刻或某一段时间内正在进行或发生的动作。这一时态当中的过去时间除了有上下文的提示以外，一般用时间状语来表示。结构为：was / were + V-ing。时间状语有last night, last Sunday, from seven to nine last night, 或者与when, while, as引导的过去时间状语连用。
肯定句：The boy was walking down the street when the UFO landed.
否定句：He wasn't working from eight to ten last night.
疑问句：--- Was he cleaning his car while I was reading?
--- Yes, he was. / No, he wasn't.
--- What was she doing at nine o'clock yesterday?
--- She was sleeping.
（2）when与while的区别
when引导时间状语从句时，从句的动作和主句的动作可以是同时，也可以是先后发生，句中的动词可以是终止性动词，也可以是延续性动词；而while从句中的动词必须是延续性动词，强调主句的动作在从句动作的发生的过程中或主从句两个动作同时发生。
如：When the teacher came in, we were talking.
When / While we were dancing, a stranger came in．
When / While she was watching TV, I was watching TV.
重要词语：
when, while, experience, amazing, happen, hear, take place, recent, as ... as, became, important, event, for example, remember
重要句子：
He was sleeping when it arrived.
While the alien was visiting the museum, the boy called the TV station.
The girl was shopping when the alien got out.
I had a very unusual experience on Sunday.
At around ten o'clock in the morning, I was walking down the street when a UFO landed right in front of me.
People often remember what they were doing when they heard the news of important events in history.
This was one of the most important events in modern American history.
Even the most everyday activities can seem important.
b. 本体裁的写作指导：
本文任务要求我们要根据所给的时间与活动提示材料写作一篇文章介绍Tom在上周日的活动。我们在初一、初二或初三时都可能被要求写类似的介绍某个人一天活动的文章，我们要在写作中注意写作水平的发挥。在初二的现阶段，我们要将我们目前的语言水平发挥出来，要尽量多用在初二阶段我们学过的词语和句式，当然也可以用初一曾学过的好的词语与句式，但要注意与文章的协调。我们要掌握这种文章的写作规律，并经常将所体会到的规律与想法应用于实践当中，以求在今后写作时能够得心应手地完成作文。下面来谈谈这种类型文章的写作特点：
（1）分析材料，明确要求
认真地分析所给材料是写作这种文章的第一步。如果不能很好地把握文章的要求与材料的特点，可能写出的文章会因为“差之毫厘”，而“谬以千里”。我们所谓的分析材料要做到逐词分析，认真体会，并在写作过程中严格遵循写作任务中对于文体、字数等方面的要求。
（2）注意开头，升华结尾
文章的开头和结尾虽不一定写得很长，但是其重要性不容忽视，开头起到引领阅读，激发兴趣的作用，而结尾则起到收束全文，总结升华的作用。
只要我们平时多加练习，相信我们便可以在考场中，在课堂上，在课外生活中，在这种类型的文章的写作上发挥自如。
c. 习作的评价与商榷的意见：
本篇文章语句通顺，准确地用过去进行时将写作要求中的内容完全清楚地表达了出来，可见作者对于过去进行时这一时态掌握得已经很成功了。值得商榷之处，有以下几点：
（1）句式过于单一；
（2）文章前面和后面缺少过渡性的语句。
针对上面所提到的两个问题，我们可以提出相应的解决方案，改变句子的叙述方式。哪怕不能每个句子都有不同的模式，也要将其做恰当的改变，比如时间状语的位置可以放在句子的开头或结尾。这样也会让文章因为句式的错落有致而显得有变化。同时还要在文章中添加上合适的过渡性词语或句子，尤其是在文章的开头和结尾处要有总结性的语句，这样我们可以将文章从单一的一个段落的形式变成“总—分—总”的形式，文章结构会因此更加合理。
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发表于 2011-3-18 09:43:00
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