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My mother
My mother has long hair. She has two small eyes. a small nose and a not big mouth. She is in a beautiful dress. I have to say : "She is a beautiful women ! " If yousay to me : "Who is she? " I must answer : "She is my mother! " My mother is aChinese women. She is 39, but she looks young. My mother is cute and smart. She can sing many good sangs. And she cooks very nice. When she free, she must sweep the floor, wash clothes, and cook a good dinner . I love my mother very much!
She has long hair. She has two small eyes. a small nose and a not big(not一般和be动词或助动词连用,这里建议用small) mouth. She is in(in也表穿衣的状态,但后面接颜色等词表穿什么颜色的衣服,改为wearing更恰当) a beautiful dress.
I have to say : "She is a beautiful women(改为woman) ! " If yousay to(改为ask) me : "Who is she? " I must answer : "She is my mother! "
My mother is aChinese women(改为woman). . She is 39, but she looks young. My mother is cute and smart. She can sing many good sangs(songs). And she cooks very nice(cook是动词,应该用副词来修饰,建议用well). When she free(改为is free,形容词放于be之后作表语), she must sweep the floor, wash clothes, and cook a good dinner .
I love my mother very much!
文笔流畅,字里行间流露出浓浓亲情和小作者对妈妈无限的爱,文章也比较完整,希望不断努力,取得更大的进步! |
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