标题: 初中英语作文Talkaboutmyself评析 [打印本页] 作者: admin 时间: 2010-11-25 17:51 标题: 初中英语作文Talk about myself评析 Talk about myself
My name is zhangPing .Iam fifteen years old. I live in BeiJing. One of my favorite subjects is biology. I am interested in drawing . In my free time, I often go camping, draw some picturesof plants, enjoy the songs of birds in nature. I want to be a biologist when I grow up .I am outgoing and like talking to others.Would you like to make friends with me ? If we can be friends, I will be very glad
1.“picturesof”应改为.“pictures of”
2.文章结尾略显不畅通，建议再写出你交友的要求标准联系方式较好。例如：I like making friends who are outgoing like me,Would you like to be my friend? If you’d like to,please call me at …. I will be very glad.
3.“…picturesof plants, enjoy the …”改为.“…picturesof plants and enjoy the …”注意并列结构最后一个成分常用and 连接。