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标题: 小同学优秀英语小作文30篇(和点评) [打印本页]

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:07
标题: 小同学优秀英语小作文30篇(和点评)

My Favourite stamp
I have a lot of stamps and my favourite stamp is an animal stamp.
Look, there is a chick in this stamp. The chick has a red cockscomb, two bright eyes, a long neck and a short tail. Its feathers are yellow and brown. This stamp is very beautiful.
I like this stamp very much.
Miss Wang点评台集邮不只可以增加我们的见识,同时也可以陶冶我们的情操。本文的小作者就是一个集邮喜好者,看小作者所描述的小鸡邮票多么可爱呀!感兴趣的小朋友可以试着收集邮票啊!Miss Wang要奖给姚晗小朋友一个"Very Good!",继续加油啊!
My Good Friend
Hello! My name is Maggie. I have a good friend. Her Chinese name is Wang Qi. Her English name is Mary. She likes fruit very much. Her favourite color is blue.
She is very beautiful. She has small eyes and wears a pair of glasses. She has two small ears, a small nose and a lovely mouse. She is very tall. She likes swimming and playing football. She is a good student.
We are in the same school and the same class. But we are not in the same row.
I like her very much. We always play together.

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:07

A Pen and a Pencil
I have a pen and a pencil. The pen is very nice, but the pencil is so dirty.
One day, the pen met the pencil. The pen said to the pencil:" What a dirty pencil!" The pencil said :"Yes. I'm dirty .But I can write words." "I can write words,too . Now,let's see who can write more words."
They began to write. They wrote and wrote. The pen wrote lots of words on the paper. The pencil wrote lots of words on the paper, too. After a long time ,the pen hadn't any ink(钢笔水)left(剩下).The pencil became short, but he could still write .
At last ,the pencil won. The pencil said :"Ha ha...ha ha...Who won, you or me ?"The pen drooped(低下)his head. Then he said to the pencil :"I shouldn't laught at(讪笑)you. You are good, too."
  点评台:这是一篇很胜利的文章。文章不只立意新颖,更重要的是寓意深刻。同时,也能看出小作者有着丰富的想象力。希望在今后的学习中充沛发挥自身的想象,写出更多、更好的文章。文章级别:A。
Fly Kites
Today is a shining day, the sky is blue, the wind is strong. My grandfather and I are going to the park to fly kites.
My grandfather takes me to the People's Park. We fly my "Rocket". "The wind is too strong, the kite can't fly!" I say. My grandfather looks and says, "Let me try!" "Sure!" So my grandfather catches the string and I hold the kite. "Follow me, one, two, three, run!" I run with my grandfather quickly. Oh! It's so wonderful! The kite is flying up with the wind. I am so happy and ask my grandfather, "Why can't I fly it up, but you can?" My grandfather says with a smile on his face, "Because you fly the kite against the wind." "Oh, I see." I nod my head happily.
We play in the park until late. We enjoy ourselves.
点评中心:小作者用平实的语言描述了风筝从飞不上天到飞上天的过程,特别生动、形象,同时又结合小作者与爷爷的对话,让人看完以后有种身临其境的感觉,仿佛放风筝的活动历历在目。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:07

Four Seasons
Spring is green. Do you know why? It is because when spring is here, the plants and the trees sprout new leaves and turn green. The flowers start to blossom. It is so beautiful and green everywhere.
Summer is bright. Can you guess the reason? It is because when summer arrives, the sun is shining. For the very strong sunlight, everything is bright. How beautiful and bright it is!
Autumn is golden. Why is this? It's because when autumn comes, the wind blows through the golden trees and carries the golden leaves away, flowing slowly down to the ground one after another and thickly covering the ground. It is golden everywhere.
Winter is white. Why? It's because when winter reaches us, the white snowflakes fly slowly down, so pure and white. The wide fields and the great high mountains all wear white coats.
Oh! The four seasons are all beautiful and charming. I like spring, summer, autumn and winter, but spring, the best! For spring is full of life.
   点评中心:小作者以"四季"为题目,开篇直接切入四个季节,以论述四季的不同为主线,分别进行描述.文章用词准确,语言丰富、生动,语法基本正确.希望继续努力,成为未来的作家。
Have a fun holiday!
Come to Shenzhen and have a fun holiday. Shenzhen is a new and modern city. The weather here is very pleasant. The trees and grass are green every season. In spring, the weather is warm. You can go hiking. In summer, the weather is hot, but you can go to the beautiful beach. You can swim there. You can make a sandcastle(沙堆城堡), too. In autumn. the weather is cool, but not dry. You can fly kites in the parks. In winter, it's not cold. You don't need to put on more clothes. You can play sports then.
There is lots of delicious food here. You can drink morning tea and afternoon tea. You can eat seafood(海鲜), too. In Shenzhen there are many famous places. You can go to the Window of the World. You can go to Happy Valley, too.
Don't wait. Come to Shenzhen and have fun, fun and fun !
点评中心:通过对深圳四季的描写,给我们展现出了一幅四季如春的美丽画面。在深圳,可以到海边堆沙堡, 可以吃海鲜, 还可以去美丽的世界之窗游玩…… 所有这些都深深地吸引着小读者们,不愧为一篇胜利的小作文。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

I Like My Village
Hello,dear friends! Welcome to my village. It's big and beautiful! I like it very much.
Look!There are many houses in the village. They are small. There are many high and beautiful mountains near the houses. There is a big forest behind the houses. There are many big trees in it. There are many rivers in front of the houses. The water is clean. There are many fish in the rivers. There are many bridges over the rivers. There are many big trees on the river banks. And there is grass and flowers on it. The grass is green. The flowers are colourful and beautiful. There is a lake in the village. There are many ducks in the lake.
  The sky is blue. The rivers flow. The air is fresh and clean. My village is very beautiful!I like it very much!
  点评中心:I Like My Village。本篇文章采用生动、细致的描写方法,勾勒出一幅美丽、和谐的乡村图画。文章在用词方面比较准确,多处采用There be句型。但有些地方可用连词连接,无需再重复使用There be句型。
My Bedroom
My name is Mike. I have a comfortable bedroom.
There is a desk, a bookshelf and a bed in my bedroom. I do my homework in my bedroom every evening. The desk is in front of the bookshelf. There are many textbooks, English books and story books on the shelf.
My bed is near the windows. There are some flowers on the windowsill. The curtain and the sheets of my bedroom are blue. Because my favourite colour is blue, too.
Dear friend, do you like my bedroom?
点评中心:My Bedroom针对自身卧室里的几件物品进行了介绍,为同学们展示了一个干净舒适的小天地,值得一提的是文中使用了一些生词,使文章增色不少。在这里建议其他同学学习,努力多掌握些单词,从而写出更加精彩的英语作文。"Very Good!"。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Family
I have a happy family. There are six people in my family. They are grandpa, grandma, father, mother, elder sister and I.
My name is Yang Yuan. I am a pupil, I'm in Grade 5. I like English very much, I read them every morning. I often listen to the English tape. My grandpa is an accountant(会计). He is very busy. My grandma is a farmer. She does the housework. My mother is a farmer, too. She cooks every day. My father is a worker. In the evening he likes watching TV. While he is watching TV, he often tells us not to talk. My elder sister is a middle school student, she isn't good at English, but she likes maths very much.
All of them love me, and I love them, too. I have a happy family. I love my family.
  点评中心:这篇文章主要描写了家庭成员的职业,My Family更适合做这篇文章的标题,整篇文章条理清楚,语言简练,用词准确,没有语法错误,可见小作者的英语语言基本功很好,希望杨园同学在今后的学习中继续发扬这个优点,不要骄傲,写出更多的好文章。文章级别:B。
My Family
Hello, everyone! Today I am going to talk about my family. My name is Mike.
I am in Class 1, Grade 4. l like English very much. I like hamburgers. I have a happy family. There are three people in my family. Look, this is my father. He has two brown eyes, a big nose and a small mouth. He is an engineer. He is very handsome. Look, that is my mother. She has two big eyes. She is an engineer too. She is very pretty and kind.
My family is not big, but we have many friends. We are happy. I love them very much and they love me too.
讲评中心:文章写得比较简炼,词语使用准确,语言生动,字里行间表达了小作者对家人的爱。但不要骄傲,继续努力啊!文章级别:A。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Family
There are three people in my family, my father, my mother and I.
My father is a driver. He is 37 years old. He like eating oranges. My mother is a worker. She like eating apples. My name is Mike. I am 9 years old. I am in Class 3, Grade 3. l like eating hamburgers.
I am good at English. I study hard every day.
点评中心:My Family 语言流畅,描写得当,用平实的语言向读者介绍了家庭中的每一位成员的基本情况,美中缺乏之处就是缺乏对家人之间和睦关系的描述,使文章略显平淡了一些。“Good!”,还要继续努力啊
My Best Friend
Ma Qi is my best friend. She is a girl. she is ten years old. She has short black hair and big eyes. she likes to sing.
Ma Qi and I are in the same class. We always study, draw pictures and play ping-pong together.
After the school, we often go to the park. We often play a game of Hide And Seek there. We have a good time.
点评台: My Best Friend语言流畅,叙述清楚,描述了自身与好朋友一起学习、生活的快乐时光,假如小作者能够运用已学过的知识再对好朋友的外貌特征和衣着作一番细致地描写的话,相信文章内容就会更加空虚。“Good!”千万不要骄傲呀,还要继续练习写作,使自身能够写出更好的文章。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Best Friends
Jim and Kim are my best friends. Jim is short, thin and quiet. But Kim is tall and strong ,but not fat. After class, Jim is different from Kim and I. Kim and I like to play soccer. We often kick the ball on the playground. But Jim doesn't play with us. He likes to read books in the library. Sometimes he likes to listen to music. In the evening, Jim often helps Kim and me with our English. We talk a lot and laugh a lot. We are best friends.
  点评台:向大家介绍了自身的两个好朋友。语言流畅,用词准确,没有语法错误,字里行间能体会到小作者与两位好朋友之间的深厚友情。另外,从整篇文章中也可以看出小作者的英语基础知识掌握得很牢。希望今后的学习中写出更多,更好的文章。文章级别:A。
My Dog
Hello, everyone!I am Wang Ze. My English name is Mike. I have a cat and a dog. I like my cat, but I like my dog better than my cat.
My dog is two years old. It has two black eyes, a black nose and a small mouth. Its body is white. It is as white as snow.
My dog is very lovely. I like my dog very much.
点评台:文章My Dog首先向读者问候,并简单介绍了自身,随后通过简略的描写使一只可爱的小狗形象跃然纸上,能够吸引读者的注意力。对于初学者而言,能写出这样的习作确实不容易,值得大家学习。“Good!”,继续加油啊!

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Dream
I am a handsome boyl. My name is Mike.
I like drawing. My dream is to have a white house with a white wall, a white roof, a white floor.
I can draw a red car on the wall, and I can drive the car around the world. I can draw a plane on the roof, and I want to take the plane to the sky. i can draw a sailing-boat on the floor, and I want to take the sailing-boat across the sea.
点评台:这篇作文"My Dream",形式新颖,风格独特,用词得当,语句通顺。此文章充沛地体现了小作者丰富的想象力和较强的写作能力,是一篇胜利的文章。同时,希望张灿小朋友能坚持练习英文写作,相信你一定会写出更好的英语作文。"Very good!"。
My English Teacher
Miss Shan is my English teacher. She has two big eyes. She is thin and short. Her hair is very long. She is very beautiful.
Her English is very good. She always play games with us in English class. So her class is very interesting and shi is kind to us. She like us and we like her too.
I like my English teacher. How about you?
点评中心: 文章写得比较简单,词语使用准确, 语言朴实无华,字里行间表达了小作者对英语老师的喜爱之情, 但不够具体, 假如能指出老师的喜好、习惯等,文章会更加空虚,希望你继续努力,写出更加优秀的文章来。
My Little Cat
Hello! I'm Becky. This is my little cat. I like it very much. Its name is Do Re Mi. It's very beautiful. It's gray. It has triangular(三角形的) ears, round eyes,a black nose and a small mouth. My mother calls it "Little Baby". When I'm at home,it often follows me in and out.
My little cat loves to eat fish and sleep a lot. It's very fat,but it's nimble(机敏的). One day,I saw it run fast in the sitting room. I thought it might find a mouse. It was running after the mouse. They looked like playing hide-and-seek. About three minutes later,it brought me the mouse. I was happy. So I touched it with a smile. "You have done a good job,Little Baby." I said. Then it jumped up and down and ran away.
Do you like my little cat?Tell me, please.
点评中心:向大家介绍了小猫的外貌,还主要描写了小猫在某一天捉老鼠的情景。整篇文章主次分明,语言简炼、生动,没有语法错误。同时,字里行间能使读者感受到小作者对小猫的喜爱之情。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Lovely Home
I live in a small village named Fengyi. I live in an old building. It was built in 1999. It has three floors. On the first floor, there is a big living room, a kitchen and a bathroom. On the second floor, there are altogether three bedrooms. One for my grandma, one for my parents, another for me. On the third floor, there is an attic. It's my study, it's quiet. I like to study there. When I am tired, I can rest in the balcony. There is some beautiful old furniture, it's tidy. My parents clean it every day. I can also do some housework.
My friends, do you love my home?
  点评中心:My Lovely Home开篇直接切入本文主题,首先从房子的结构开始介绍,句子简洁、通顺,接着又重点描述了与自身有关的几个房间,语言生动、贴切,最后又抒发了自身对家的热爱。
My Favourite Sport
My favourite sport is swimming.
I often swim in the pool. I swim twice a week. When I am swimming in the pool, I am very happy. I look like a lovely fish in the pond. I enjoy swimming, because swimming can make me strong and healthy. It can also bring me a lot of happiness. Of course, I like watching this sport. I hope I will become a swimmer in the future.
点评中心:这篇小文章语言精炼、准确,短短几句便勾画出了一幅生动、活泼的画面。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Favourite stamp
I have a lot of stamps and my favourite stamp is an animal stamp.
Look, there is a chick in this stamp. The chick has a red cockscomb, two bright eyes, a long neck and a short tail. Its feathers are yellow and brown. This stamp is very beautiful.
I like this stamp very much.
Miss Wang点评台集邮不只可以增加我们的见识,同时也可以陶冶我们的情操。本文的小作者就是一个集邮喜好者,看小作者所描述的小鸡邮票多么可爱呀!感兴趣的小朋友可以试着收集邮票啊!Miss Wang要奖给姚晗小朋友一个"Very Good!",继续加油啊!
My Good Friend
Hello! My name is Maggie. I have a good friend. Her Chinese name is Wang Qi. Her English name is Mary. She likes fruit very much. Her favourite color is blue.
She is very beautiful. She has small eyes and wears a pair of glasses. She has two small ears, a small nose and a lovely mouse. She is very tall. She likes swimming and playing football. She is a good student.
We are in the same school and the same class. But we are not in the same row.
I like her very much. We always play together.
讲评中心:文章比较详尽、完整地描述了她的好朋友的特征,包括了好朋友的外貌、喜好等,文章词语使用准确、语法正确、主题突出,“Good!”,不要骄傲,继续努力啊!

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Good Friend
I have a good friend. Her name is Zhang Hong. She is 9 years old. She is a pretty girl. She has long hair and big beautiful eyes. They look like stars.
Her favourite colour is pink. Her favourite animals are cats and rabbits. She likes to play badminton very much. Her favourite class is English. She studies very hard. She is a good student.
I love her very much. I will learn from her.
本文围绕My Good Friend这一主题,运用所学英语知识,针对好朋友的外貌、喜好进行介绍,为读者展示了一个活泼、可爱的小女孩形象。Miss Wang要奖给孟婷婷同学一个"Very Good!"。同时,孟婷婷同学也要继续努力练习英文写作呀!
My Grandfather's Garden
My grandfather has a small garden. There are many flowers in it. I think all the flowers are beautiful. My grandfather gets up early every mor-ning. First, he goes to his garden to have a look at the flowers. Then, he waters them. When he waters the flowers, he feels very happy. My sister and I like the garden very much. We often play in it. Sometimes we water the flowers and catch worms for them.
One day, my brother picked a flower. My grandfather was very angry and sad. He said to my brother, "My child, don't pick the flowers. That's not a good deed(行为). " My brother felt very sorry for that. And we all didn't pick flowers from then on.
The flowers in my grandfather's garden are more and more beautiful now. I like my grandfather's garden.
点评台:向大家描写了爷爷的花园,虽没有太多华丽的词语,但能使读者感受到花园的美丽和花儿的芳香。通过描写爷爷对花园的精心料理以和对弟弟的教育,能看出本篇文章不只仅是写爷爷的花园,也从字里行间中看出了小作者对爷爷的敬佩之情。文章条理清楚、意思连贯,没有语法错误,是一篇很胜利的文章,希望再接再励!文章级别:A。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Hometown
My hometown-Kaiping is a very beautiful city. It is located(座落) in the southwest(西南) part of Guangdong Province(省). My hometown is famous for Diaolous. Ruishi Tower is one of the Diaolous (Please look at the picture.). It was built in 1923. The top of the tower looks like the Italy stronghold(堡垒). It is tall and magnificent (雄伟的). People praise(赞扬) it for "the No. 1 Tower" of Kaiping.
  I like my hometown.
  点评台:小作者的My Hometown主要描写了家乡著名的碉楼,其中重点向大家介绍了"开平第一楼"--瑞石楼,抒发了自身对家乡的热爱之情。整篇文章语句连贯,没有语法错误。文章中出现了一些生词,可见小作者是用心查字典了,希望小作者继续发扬这个好习惯,并写出更多的好文章与大家分享。文章级别:A。
Spring
I like spring because spring is beautiful. Many flowers are very lovely. Some grass and trees turn green.
Look! A little girl is flying a kite with her father. She likes to fly kites. Her father is smiling. It's very warm today. So there're a lot of birds flying in the sky. They're playing together. They look very happy. A breeze is blowing over the land. The sunlight is soft. A clear river is flowing.
How beautiful the spring is!
点评台:这篇文章篇幅虽短却写出了春天的生机与活力.特别是小作者着重描写了春天里的某一天,使整篇文章的中心更加明确.用词准确、生动,没有语法错误也是这篇文章的另一优点.文章级别:A.

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My School
Hello, friends! Welcome to my school. My school is beautiful and very big.
There are many rooms in the school building. My classroom is on the sixth floor. There are sixty-nine students in my class. You can see many desks, chairs, a blackboard, three fans, two windows, four lights and a teacher's desk. My seat is near the door. The computer room is on the third floor. There are many computers in it. I like playing computer games very much!The canteen(食堂) is on the first floor. We have lunch there.
Look! This is the playground. We often play games on it. There are many flowers in the garden, some are red, some are yellow...
I have a good time every day in my school. I like my school very much.
  点评台:文章向大家描述了他学校的教室,食堂,微机室以和操场,其中重点描写了自身的班级,主次分明,层次清晰,正确地运用了There be句型和一般现在时时态,是一篇很胜利的文章,文章级别:A。
My Uncle
My uncle is a professor. His name is Chen Hao. He teaches Chinese in a university. He is tall and thin. He wears a pair of glasses. He likes reading. He has a big study at home. It's very bright. There are many books in his study. He often reads and writes in his study. He is kind to his students, so his students like him very much. He is very kind to me, too. He often sends me books. I like him, too.
点评中心:本篇小文章描写的是小作者的叔叔,首先从她叔叔的职业、外貌开始描写,接着又描写了她叔叔的喜好--读书与写作。表达了小作者对其叔叔的崇敬与敬仰之情。文章条理清晰,用词准确,无语法错误,是一篇较优秀的文章。

作者: admin    时间: 2010-4-6 21:08

My Winter Holiday
This winter holiday, I went to Kunming with my family. Kunming is a very beautiful city, I think. The sky is blue and the air is clean. You can see many kinds of nice flowers everywhere. The weather there is great. It's never too hot or too cold all the year round, so people always call it "Spring City".
Kunming is surrounded(围绕) by beautiful scenery. And one of the most famous views is "The Stone Forest". It is really scenic(自然风景的).
We just stayed in Kunming for six days, but I felt very happy, and I like Kunming very much.
  点评中心:寒假虽然已经过去一个多月了,但是在这个假期所发生的事大家是否还都铭记在心呢?作者就把她的这份心情用笔记录了下来。小作者通过在寒假期间去美丽的春城--昆明游玩,抒发了对美好自然风光的热爱。文章生动、形象,用词准确。
Myself
Look at this photo. A little boy is climbing a tree. Who is the boy? Guess, please! Yes, it's me. My name is Zhu Shaoyu. I'm ten years old. I'm very naughty and smart. I have big eyes and short black hair. I'm thin and tall.
  I'm a student. I'm in Xia Zhuang Primary School, Qing Zhou City. I'm in Class One, Grade Five.
  My favourite subject is English. I study English very hard. I think nothing is difficult, if I put my heart into it. Now I can speak English well. I obtained the First Award in the 2003 National English Competition for Primary School Students. I will study harder in future.
  My favourite master of ceremonies is Li Yong, because he is very funny.
  My favourite newspaper is English Coaching Paper, because it gives me a lot of knowledge. It makes me learn English better.
  My favourite food is hamburger, because it is very delicious. I like its taste.
  Do you like me? Would you like to make friends with me?
  点评台:几乎每个人都很了解自身,所以要是介绍自身,可写的内容很多。但小作者并没有平均分配笔墨,而是重点描写了自身的几个"最喜欢"。整篇文章条理清楚、重点突出、语言流畅、用词准确,可以说写得很胜利。希望同学们向朱劭宇同学学习,写出一篇篇精彩的文章与大家一起分享。文章级别:A。





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